While recently watching a popular movie with my grandchildren, there was one scene where the children are encouraging their single father to begin dating. He tried to brush off their questions and suggestions and replied that he was not going to be dating anyone. Then the youngest daughter asked, “Why not, are you scared?”
The father’s face fills the screen.
His eyes get big (these are cartoon characters).
In his mind, he immediately flashes back to an incident that occurred when he was in middle school and was trying to get the affection of a certain young lady. He recalled how he was approaching her with a beautiful flower and it was obvious that he was very happy to be doing this. Suddenly, the other kids in the school yard realized what he was doing and began to taunt him and laugh, implying that this girl would never respond favorably to his gesture. Humiliated, with head hung low, the scene takes us back to the present and he tells his children that he is definitely not afraid to go out for a date. In that moment, he was filled with all of the horrible emotions that he felt that day in the school yard. And I would imagine that he did not feel very good about himself.
Things that happened early on in life can have a direct effect on how we react and respond today.
In the movie situation that I just described, it looks like the character did know that his feelings about dating were connected to an incident that occurred in middle school. Many times though, people do not know to what their current anxieties, or fears are connected. And for many people, just knowing the source does not release the negative emotion attached to it.
Too many people go through life as this character, really wanting to do something, but feel a fear that is so strong, that it stops them. Through the use of Ericksonian Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), people can get to the root of their fear and heal it there. (I recommend only working with someone who is thoroughly trained and has experience using Ericksonian Hypnosis and NLP.) It is a respectful, yet very powerful way to release old fear.
It is also a way to release other negative emotions such as sadness, guilt, jealousy, or anger that get in the way of living your life today the way you want to live it. Think about people who have road rage. They typically are not responding with emotion appropriate to the situation, but rather anger that has been collected over the years. This process provides a way for a person to clear out that old anger from the past.
Healing painful memories from the past in turn changes things in the present as well as the future. As a result of the healing work, we then react and respond with emotion appropriate to current situations rather than respond with old emotions that have been carried over the years. For the people who had road rage, they then may find being stuck in traffic annoying or even neutral, rather than something that causes extreme angry feelings in their body.
So while we can’t change our memories, we can heal and resolve them and release the negative charge that is attached to it.
I felt badly for this movie character and thought that he really didn’t have to go through life suffering. Of course as movies sometimes do, especially feel good ones like this children’s movie, he finally did date and entered into a relationship with a wonderful woman.
Life, however, doesn’t always follow the same script. Sometimes we need help.
About the author: Tish Schuman, LPC, CMH, NCC is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Hypnotherapist and is the owner of Calm Pathways Counseling located in Mt. Laurel, NJ. Using an innovative approach which includes Ericksonian Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming, she has helped many people to get relief from anxiety and related issues and find joy and calm in their lives. Click below to follow her on Facebook and Twitter.